Joining in an organization of people who are different than me

Even though I have spent a good portion of my life within Mennonite institutions, There are many times that I feel like an outsider. I grew up attending Goshen City Church of the Brethren, which is a church within the Anabaptist tradition, like the Mennonites, so my background is similar. Because my mother was a teacher at the area Mennonite high school, I also attended Bethany for five years before going to Goshen College. Following my time at Goshen College I spent four years working as the admissions director at Bethany. All in all I feel like I have spent a large portion of my life in Mennonite institutions. There are sometimes when I fit in just fine and other times when it is clear I am an outsider.

I was not brought up in a pacifist household. Members of my family and friends of my family were involved in the military. While I personally consider myself a pacifist I can become irritated with the emphasis the Mennonite church puts on pacifism. It often seems to me that pacifism and nonviolence has become the central core of the Mennonite faith, when to me it is just a small portion. Nonviolence is just one aspect of my faith and in no way is it the most important.

I also seem to feel very differently about political issues than most of the Mennonites I am surrounded by in Goshen. I know that college towns tend to have more liberal leaning views than rural Mennonites, but this past presidential election it became very clear to me that I was in a political minority. My belief in small government has differentiated myself from many of the people I am surrounded by.

It has become clear to me that even though my religious tradition is similar to the Mennonites there are enough differences to make me feel like a fish out of water. As my husband and I continue to search for a church home, it is becoming more and more important to me to find a church that is different from my work environment. I want my world to be bigger than the Mennonite world. If my work environment continues to be at Bethany or in other Mennonite institutions, I want my church life to be something I feel more apart of.

Joining in an organization of people who are different than me

I have put this portion of my blog off the longest because joining an organization of people who are different from me is not something I do naturally. I naturally shy away from things I am uncomfortable with. I like to be around people I have things in common with. I can think of very few times I have pushed myself to be in situations that are out of my comfort zone.

One example I can think of during college was the time I spent in the Voice's In Harmony Gospel choir. I have always enjoyed gospel music and one of the first things I did when I started college at Goshen College was join the choir. Truthfully I am surprised that I had the courage to attend the first practice without knowing anyone. My love of music overrode my fear of uncomfortable situation. Overall this was not a situation that was comfortable for me. I had grown up reading music and this group did not use standard music. The leader would often sing a line and we would echo. Or there would be one line of music and we would have to find our own harmonies. Being a part of this choir was also one of the few times in my life when I was an ethnic minority. Attending a primarily white church, a primarily white Mennonite middle school and high school, and finally a Mennonite college has often meant I am surrounded by people who look a lot like me. I stayed with the choir for one semester before getting busy with other school activities, but every time I heard the choir I was reminded of my time there and how it stretched me out of my comfort zones.